


The Queen's Gambit

by AceQueenKing



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - James Bond Fusion, F/M, James Bond Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 13:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10742376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: “I’m just saying, the guy with this new collector data – Vega – he’s easy on the eyes.”Shepard rolled her eyes. She’d seen that before. Heard it before. Nearly every mission left her with some guy following her with puppy dog eyes, and it wasn’t like this one was going to be different.  Sure, this guy had muscles and she’d always loved a man who knew the right way to lift, but the mission came first.





	The Queen's Gambit

**Author's Note:**

> This is a James Bond Parody, based on [ this awesome picture itsprecioustime did on Tumblr](http://itsprecioustime.tumblr.com/post/114608998995/shes-her-own-damned-bond-girl) of Shepard using the Spectre cover aethetic from the James Bond movie Spectre. 
> 
> In this universe:
> 
> ST = Samantha Traynor, aka Q  
> Shepard = Spectre Shepard, aka Bond  
> James "Muscles" Vega = Bond girl, one of his scenes is meant to be reminiscent of Jinx Johnson

“I think you’ll like this one,” ST said, picking up her white pawn on her side of the holo-board. “Pawn to D4.”

“Pawn to D5.” Shepard replied, looking through the dossier on her datapad as the animation played. “What makes you say that?”

ST paused, and Shepard watched her expressions carefully. She’d always had a good read on people – had to in her line of work – but ST was such an amazing chess player that some in Alliance HQ really thought she _was_ blessed by some sort of heavenly being. Few moves excited the woman whose understanding of complex logarithms had quickly seen her placed on the SS Normandy, her Majesty’s most advanced frigate.  Word was that she could practically talk to machines, and that sort of mind just didn’t show much emotion when it came to chess.

“I’m just saying, the guy with this new collector data – Vega – he’s easy on the eyes.”  
  
Shepard rolled her eyes. She’d seen that before. Heard it before. Nearly every mission left her with some guy following her with puppy dog eyes, and it wasn’t like this one was going to be different.  Sure, this guy had _muscles_ and she’d always loved a man who knew the right way to lift, but the mission came first.

“What does he know?”

“He’s our only commando who’s gone face to face with the Collectors and survived,” ST shrugged as she picked up her pawn. “You want to know how to get away from them, you’re going to have to ask him. Alliance brass recommended him for N7, but it seems he had some trouble after his squad got killed. Clammed up. Been pretty tight lipped with Doc Chakwas, and we’re running out of time to figure out how to fight off these things. As a fellow sole survivor, we thought he might respond well to you.”

“You always gotta give me the pity cases,” Shepard said. “We done with the Chess game, ST?”

“No.” With flawless, merciless grace, ST moved her pawn. “Pawn to C4.”

Shepard sighed; once again, ST had forced her into giving up a piece in less than five moves. “You gonna give any new toys, ST? Or just take my chess pieces?”  
  
ST smiled, and looked so much more like a sinner than a saint. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

\- - -

Twenty four hours later, Shepard was on route to Rio, with a new tic in her loss column and several new toys, both courtesy of ST. The N7 training grounds were as beautiful as she remembered them, though it was hard to believe Mr. Vega found any time here for relaxation.

She found him by the pool – in the pool actually – swimming laps. And she had to admit, ST was damn right, his bulging biceps were _truly_ impressive. She let her gaze wander longer than she should have as he pushed through the water, his kick off strong and powerful and his arm form…exquisite. He surfaced near her and his jaw dropped.

“ _Dios mio_ , I must have been down there long than I thought.” He wiped his eyes. 

“This is no dream.” She smirked. “James “Muscles” Vega, right? I see why they gave you that nickname. I’m –“

“Commander Shepard, I know.” He gave her a quick, smooth up and down as he climbed out the pool. She watched the water dripped off of him, little rivers cascading down mountains of firm muscle. Yes, ST was right – this was her kind of man, indeed. “What can I do you for?”

“Information.” She pulled up the report on Fehl Prime on her data pad. “Word is, you’re the only one who’s survived a collector attack. I’d like to know why.”

“Ay, Lola, you’re going to start asking me the hard questions right away?” He grinned as he wrapped a down around his waist – pity. “Most girls at least buy me a drink first.”

“That can be arranged, Sr. Vega,” she said, palming the government credit chit in her pocket. “Spectres are authorized to get information by whatever means possible.”  
  
“Whatever means possible, huh, Lola?” He grinned at her as he took her arm in his; it was heavy, strong. Good. “Might just take advantage of that.”  
  
“It’s not taking advantage, Mr. Vega,” she drawled. “I think you’ll find this is going to be much more of a …mutually beneficial arrangement.”  
  
“I like the sound of that.” He laughed. “Now let’s get some _cerveza_.”


End file.
